Death by a Thousand Cuts – No, I Don’t Mean the Taylor Swift Song

You ever have one of those nights where everything is going great—until your favorite jeans betray you? Yeah, me too.

After what felt like an eternity of social hibernation, I was finally ready to hit the town. My hair was on point, and I was in a lively mood. But the moment I reached for my go-to jeans, I was met with disappointment—they did not fit.

Instantly, my night went from “Let’s party!” to “Let’s sit silently in despair.” I didn’t want to go out anymore. I didn’t want to spend the evening sucking in my stomach like a vacuum-sealed bag of chips. I didn’t want to explain why I’d gained weight or strategically angle myself in photos to hide the evidence. So, I did what any rational person would do: canceled my plans, plopped on the couch, and stared blankly at the TV, pretending to watch something while contemplating every questionable life choice I’d ever made.

But let’s be real—I knew exactly how I got here. Four years of a sedentary lifestyle? Check. A love affair with fast food? Check. A consistent exercise routine? Nope.

And that, my friends, is how the power of compounding sneaks up on you. Not the good, “watch your savings grow” kind—no, this is the “suddenly none of your clothes fit” kind. You don’t gain 20 pounds overnight. You gain it one fast food order at a time. You don’t lose an entire Saturday to doom-scrolling in a single sitting. You do it ten minutes here, fifteen minutes there, until you realize you’ve spent more time on TikTok than some people spend getting a degree.

They call it “death by a thousand cuts,” but honestly, in my case, it’s more like death by a thousand fries.

Now, before you think I’m being dramatic (which, okay, fair), let’s dive into the origins of the phrase. “Death by a thousand cuts”—or Lingchi—was an actual form of torture used in China until 1905. The concept? One small cut isn’t fatal, but a thousand small cuts? That’ll do it.

Figuratively speaking, this is how most things in life unravel. Relationships don’t implode from one massive fight; they erode through a series of small neglects—missed date nights, forgotten “I love yous,” choosing TikTok over deep conversations. Your attention span didn’t disappear all at once; it was slowly whittled down by years of multitasking, instant gratification, and an ever-growing pile of unread books you keep telling yourself you’ll get to “eventually.”

The problem is, we tell ourselves these tiny decisions don’t matter. One more cookie won’t hurt. Skipping the gym just this once is fine. Hitting snooze a couple of times? No big deal. But those “just this once” moments pile up. And before you know it, your jeans are tight, your productivity is shot, and your life feels like a series of bad decisions dressed up as self-care.

But here’s the good news: Just as bad habits compound into disaster, good habits compound into success. If “death by a thousand cuts” exists, then so does “life by a thousand heals.”

Every small, good choice adds up. Drinking a glass of water instead of soda. Taking a ten-minute walk instead of scrolling through Instagram. Reading one chapter of a book instead of binge-watching a show you don’t even like that much. These are the tiny victories that, over time, reverse the damage.

And here’s where it gets interesting—this concept applies to literally everything. Want to get better at a skill? You don’t need to spend five hours a day practicing—start with five minutes. Want to save money? It’s not about landing a six-figure salary overnight; it’s about skipping that unnecessary $7 latte a few times a week. Want to finally declutter your apartment? Start with one drawer. Tiny, consistent choices create huge long-term results.

We love the idea of dramatic change. It’s why New Year’s resolutions exist—because we think one big, grand commitment will fix everything. But real change? It’s not the huge, cinematic decision to turn your life around; it’s the small, unglamorous daily choices that make the difference.

And while we’re at it, let’s talk about another dangerous mindset: the “I’ll start on Monday” syndrome. We convince ourselves that a fresh start is just around the corner. But Monday rolls around, and suddenly, there’s a new excuse—”Next Monday will be better.” The truth is, change doesn’t require a Monday. It requires a moment. One decision at a time.

Now, before you spiral into crisis over every decision you’ve ever made, remember: it’s not about perfection. You don’t have to make the right choice every single time. You just need to tip the scale in your favor, little by little. And the best part? You can start right now. Not Monday. Not tomorrow. Now.

So, the next time you’re about to make one of those “innocuous” choices, ask yourself: Am I adding a cut, or am I adding a heal?

Because at the end of the day, how you live your days is exactly how you live your life. And trust me, you want to be living a life that fits into your favorite jeans.

Cynthia A. Murungi

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